Around the World in Downward Dog

Hello! It has been a while, and I have missed writing over these past months. I did initially write a version of this a couple of months ago, but I didn’t post it at the time. Honestly, it didn’t feel like the time for a travel and lifestyle blog like this. Clearly, for most people now is not the time for travel. I have also been doing more reflection on my part about the broader society and the systemic racism that has become increasingly apparent. Black Lives Matter, racism is real, and I know I still have a lot to learn myself. With all of this said, I’m glad to be writing again.

In this time when many plans have gone out the window, it is a good time to consider how things rarely go as expected. How my year has gone so far is no exception. When I came back from Thailand in November, I began the process of figuring out my next step. I wanted to continue working in education, but in a different capacity than classroom teaching. I also thought that I wanted to stay in New York.

Toward the end of the year, I reconnected with one of my old friends Lorelei, and we decided to take a weekend trip together in March. Side note, we had the best time, and it has been such a blessing to have a friend like her through all of this! When we planned this trip, neither one of us had any one particular destination in mind. We ended up landing on Austin, Texas because we both had always wanted to visit, and she was looking at an acupuncture school there. Once we had picked the destination, I decided to follow-up on a couple of jobs I had applied to at UT Austin. As it happened, when I got to the airport to fly down to Austin, I saw that someone had responded and wanted to meet with me!

Austin has so many great things to offer. Friendly people, warmth and delicious tacos, among other things. I also had the opportunity to interview in-person at UT Austin, and got a great feel for the campus. With 50,000+ students, I got a glimpse into the energy and diversity that makes up the giant school (little did I know that in a matter of weeks, a campus filled with people would be a thing of the past).

A few weeks later, I found myself considering a job offer for an Academic Advising position at UT Austin. My job would consist of meeting with first and second year students and giving them guidance on classes, majors, and potential careers.

So…now I am 4 months into this job, and I can say that it is different from how I think anyone, myself included, could have imagined it.

1. I am still in New York, and the job will be remote for the entire fall semester.
2. I helped to guide first year students through UT’s first ever online orientation.
3. The decision of if & when I will move to Austin has been a continuous struggle that I have yet to figure out for sure (however I am optimistic that I will have clarity eventually!)

When I think about this whole series of events, I think it really can provide a lesson on letting go of expectations and letting things evolve. At the start of 2020, I did not even consider Austin an option as a place to live. And when I accepted this job, I did not foresee how this pandemic would evolve, or picture that I could work from home until the end of 2020. So, I am doing my best to live in the present and let go of the worries surrounding what things will look like in both my life and in the world 6 months from now.

I hope to write again with another update in less than 6 months 🙂 Thank you for reading. I’m wishing everyone good health (both physical and mental) during this tough time!

-Alexandra

It has been almost a month since I’ve returned to the good old USA. A lot of people have asked me “how is it being back?”, and I feel like I say the same thing every time. I say “it’s great to be back!” or “it feels like I never left!”, both of which are true. It is interesting how quickly a trip or an experience abroad can come to seem like a distant dream after you go back to your old routine. But of course, when I think about it, my feelings are much more nuanced. There are highlights and lowlights (just like in my hair) that I have found when it comes to transitioning back to a different country, climate, etc.

Highlights

• Being home for the holidays: This was one of the main reasons I wanted to come back, and it has felt so nice to be back with the people who I missed and thought about a lot over the past 6 months. There is something so cozy about Thanksgiving and Christmas in cold, snowy upstate New York.

• VIPKid: I am so happy that I learned about online English tutoring while in Thailand, because it is genuinely so much fun. I get to stay in my pajamas and teach English lessons with kids as young as 5 through video. It is one of the few things that can get me out of bed before 6am (with the time difference, the prime teaching hours are so early!)

• Food: As much as I do love Thai food, I was ready for a change. I missed cooking and especially baking, and so far I’ve made oatmeal cookies and a crazy amount of various pumpkin things. Also, my sister and I made a gingerbread house over Thanksgiving.

• I have a car! I missed driving, especially in upstate NY where there is hardly any traffic.

• Yoga: I missed my favorite yoga studio Breathe Yoga. The hot yoga is especially crucial in the winter, and I can almost pretend I’m in Thailand with the 90 degree heat!

Lowlights

• Did that really happen? Being back home, my life in Thailand feels so far away and sometimes like it didn’t even happen. I want to make sure to honor the experience I now have and take it into what I do next.

• Where are my teacher friends? Similarly to #1, I miss my friends who had the same experience and can identify with what life in Thailand is like. I do enjoy telling people about it, but it is special to have people to talk to who can relate to such a unique experience.

• Darkness: It is incredibly dark in upstate New York in the winter. The cold surprisingly hasn’t bothered me too much, but the darkness before 5pm definitely makes me tired. It almost feels like a different world where the sun is in very limited quantity…

• “Adulting”: The downside of leaving a job is that now I have to find another one! I am still planning to apply to grad school, but I have also been looking into jobs as a plan B. I am someone who likes having a plan, and the uncertainty can make me feel anxious. I have found that a good approach is to take things one day at a time as much as I can, and to avoid letting uncertainty hold me back from doing things I enjoy. I am also working on trusting that something will come together for me if I keep trying (that is actively applying to things that interest me). Still, you can expect a celebratory post once I do have things figured out!

Until then, more yoga and baking is in order!

Thank you for reading and happy holidays 🙂

When I was in Thailand, seasons didn’t really seem to exist in the same way (as it was constantly hot and humid), so it is still a shock to me that it is nearly November! Fall is my favorite season, so it was nice to see a few hints here and there (hence the pumpkin muffins at 7-Eleven). But now I’m in Australia, and it is heading into summer, so I am a bit confused!

The last several weeks have been some of the most unique and incredible in my life so far. My last day of school in Thailand was October 4th, and I have spent the past month seeing parts of Thailand, Indonesia, and now Australia. I’m also lucky that I had my sister and two friends fly across the world to do parts of this with me.

However, all this traveling has also tested the limits of how adaptable I am and how I deal with change. With 2020 upon us so soon, I know I’m not the only one who is going through a transition, or thinking about what is next for this new decade.

Something I read on instagram posted by Source Messages really stuck with me. “Everything always has a way of balancing out for you. You enter a chapter. It feels good at first. Then it rattles you a bit. You grow from it. You level up. Then you safely make your way into the next chapter. You’re going through and growing through your conditioning. This week, it’s about acknowledging this whenever you begin to overthink or stress about anything. Remember that it all balances out, and somehow you always wind up better off. You are made out of strength and stability.”

This rings true for me, because it so eloquently explains the process of change being uncomfortable, but things going back to “normal” with time. The idea of change being so important for growth is something I first encountered through yoga. As uncomfortable as it can be, I know that change is usually a positive thing. The other key part of that is trusting that any discomfort isn’t permanent, and that you are always capable of adjusting to change.

The toughest part of all this traveling for me has been the lack of anything grounding in my life. In the last month, I have moved out of my apartment, left my job, and my idea of home for the moment has transformed to a string of airbnbs, hostels, and the homes of generous friends. As much as I like adventure, I find myself craving more stability.

For the time being, I am finding stability in the things I can control right now. Even though my home is transient and I don’t have a traditional job right now, I can still establish some sense of routine. I can get up and make myself a coffee, work out, prepare for my online tutoring lessons, and make it a priority to see or do at least one thing each day. By adding a bit of structure, the travel seems less overwhelming to me.

Also, I have started to work on applying to grad school! I have had an above average number of jobs over the past 3 years, and I’d like to find something that I can stick with and make more of an impact in over the long-term. I think grad school is going to be the next step for me, which is exciting and also gives me something else to focus on! I will give an update on my progress in further blog posts. Thank you for reading 🙂

It has been a few weeks since my last post. The reason being is that I hadn’t come across anything that really inspired me to write. One of my friends reminded me though that blogging shouldn’t feel forced, and that I should write when I feel like it. So, even if my posts aren’t the most consistent, I hope that they are authentic and interesting. I also know that my readers are busy too and aren’t on the edge of their seats waiting for me to write something new, haha.

Anyways, one of my friends here recently said something that struck me as pretty funny and also thought-provoking. He said “I aim to make less than 20,000 dollars a year,” and he wasn’t kidding. I found it funny simply because it’s the opposite of what I’m used to hearing.

I think this friend believes that excess money can be more harmful than helpful, and also relates to a belief that the professions that are paid the best don’t always tie back to those that benefit society the most. That is an entire debate in and of itself, but my thoughts for today relate to how my views of money have changed since being in Thailand.

A quote that comes to mind that I first heard in yoga is “you are enough, you have enough, you know enough”. I think that this can be applied to any facet of life: what you know, what you do, and also how much money you have. Now more than ever, I know how flexible “having enough” money-wise can be depending on place.

I was actually making about 5 times more money at my job in the US than I am right now, yet it feels like I have more money here. Because the cost of living here is so much lower, I still have everything I need to be able to have a comfortable lifestyle on a fraction of what it would cost in the US. The main time when I wish I was making more money (because I’m still not immune to the materialism of society, haha) is when I go for a weekend in Bangkok, where there are numerous high end malls, fancy restaurants, and glamorous hotels. My salary doesn’t afford me this lifestyle, but 90% of the time that’s completely fine.

I have realized that money is so relative to where you are, and that there are so many different ways to create the lifestyle you want regardless of how much money you are making.

Based on this, my mindset when considering different jobs has shifted from thinking about a dollar value on a paycheck to thinking about the cost of living in a place, the flexibility and free time I will have, and most importantly if it is something that will take me in the direction I want to go. After all, there are plenty of people around the world living on a fraction of the amount that I once thought was necessary. To return to the idea of being “enough”, I now believe that regardless of whether your goal is to make $100k per year or $20k per year, there is a way to create the life you want.

This post isn’t directly about yoga, but rather about something that yoga has helped me with. I guess in that way, just about anything can be “about yoga”. Anyways, what I’m referring to is making decisions.

Decisions can sometimes feel very heavy, but I try to remember that it’s a blessing to even have the freedom to make a choice. Last week, I heard about a twenty five year-old here in Thailand who’s recently been appointed to a job that he’s expected to stay in for life. Now his future has been decided for him. When you aren’t free to make a choice, that’s when things can be truly problematic.

Anyways, if making decisions is an art, then my version is a very messy finger painting (see below for some lovely finger paintings from art class!). As I am generally pretty adaptable, I think that there will always be a lot of things I could do. This is a blessing because I have more possibilities, but a curse because I often struggle to narrow things down.

The decision that’s been on my mind lately is whether I should stay in Thailand and teach for another school term. First there is my job to consider. I still find managing a classroom of 32 second graders to be quite the challenge, but I do feel like I’ve made progress in both my teaching and how I process the experience. I can now have a couple of bad lessons and not let it ruin my day. Also, I look forward to seeing the kids, and feel myself getting more attached to them and wanting to see them through until the end of their school year.

Then there is the social part of being here. On one hand, I have a handful of friends who I am really going to miss, and see other friendships where we’ve just scratched the surface that could get stronger with time. On the other hand, I really miss my family and friends back home, and I don’t like how distant I feel from these people who are most important to me. BUT then there is all of the amazing food, travel opportunities, and kind people that Thailand has to offer.

Thinking about all of these pros and cons gets old really quickly. It’s like doing mental aerobics…and your arms feel like they’re going to fall off, but the class just keeps going and going. My mom’s advice on this stuck with me. She said to simplify and focus on the one or two things that matter most, and make a decision that way. I think that this is going to be key for me going forward. There are always a million pros and cons, but if I make a decision based on the few things I want to focus on right now, I can stand behind that and think back to those things when I’m second guessing myself. In a similar way, yoga helps me to simplify and focus by calming my mind and quieting the flurry of thoughts that are otherwise running on repeat.

So, after some youtube yoga videos and reflection on my part, I decided that I’m ready to move on and leave Thailand. In the meantime, I am super excited for what is to come. First is finishing up the school term and enjoying the things I’ve come to love about Chachoengsao. My sister and friend will be visiting in October, and we will be touring my town, staying at an elephant sanctuary in Phetchaburi, Thailand, and then visiting Bangkok and Bali. Then I will be spending a week in Sydney, Australia with my best friend Kate, and finally visiting some of my new friends in Brisbane who I met on a recent yoga retreat (see my first post for more on that).

Past this, I am hoping that the right next step for me will become clear. Before coming to Thailand, I got a MantraBand bracelet that says “what is for you will not pass you”. This reminds me that we are more than the individual decisions we make. I believe that I will eventually end up in the job, place, and with the people who I am meant to be with if I keep looking for it. Even if there are some missteps along the way, we will make our way back to the path we are meant to be on.

Thank you for reading xoxo

Alexandra